A Typical Workday

The Mistake This poor driver really had the odds against him... Once upon a time in a northern BC town, a furnace fuel driver was preparing to go on a few deliveries. The dispatcher told him that he needed to make a stop at a place but she wasn't sure about the address. He was told that the place was on the bypass road, I asked, (whoops, kind of admitted something) which one of the three bypass roads was she talking about? "I'm sure you will figure it out", she said. So, away he went, he remembered going to a place the previous year and stopped in the yard to check with the homeowners. As luck would have it, nobody was home, so he walked around the house trying to find a furnace oil tank. There was no outside tank, but there was a steel pipe sticking out of the house. The driver removed the lid and sniffed the interior of the pipe, he really couldn't tell. Hindsight being 20/20, he shouldn't have, but he did pump 1200 litres into the tank, leaving a bill in the door and carried on about his day. As it turned out, the tank he filled wasn't a furnace fuel tank, it was a drinking water tank! I don't know exactly what happened, but can you imagine this poor family coming home after a hard day at work, and step into the shower? Or just a drink of water? The bill in the door was a dead giveaway to the identity of the culprit, but this poor family didn't even order anything. It was clearly not one of the driver's prouder moments, this family had to be put up in a hotel while all of the pipes had to be steamed or replaced in their home, along with the water tank. Several years later, the driver was on a delivery to a neighbor of the victim. I (did I do that again?) mentioned to the homeowner that his 2 interior tanks were clearly marked, WATER ONLY, FURNACE FUEL ONLY. " Yeah, I had to", he said. "Several years ago we ordered furnace fuel, and some simple minded moron, went to our neighbor's and filled his water tank!" he said, laughing. "Yeah", the driver said, "It was me." "Oh... I see" the homeowner said, then we both laughed. The reader should note that the driver was close to the right house, damn near got it. The Rabid Saw Once upon a time in a northern BC town, a group of carpenters were building a new home for someone. Among them was an older carpenter with an old wore out skilsaw that worked, but just barely. The rest of the boys teased the man that he should junk it and get a new one, but he was kind of attached to it. This of course was in the days when workplace safety wasn’t a big of a concern as it is now. The saw was in bad shape, the trigger would stick, as would the blade guard and the motor would blow breaker fuses due to its wear. One afternoon the breaker tripped and Miro ( I think that was his name) went to reset it.  Luck be as it may, the guard was stuck, not to mention the trigger, and as soon as the saw was energized it took off across the open floor. Carpenters were diving out any opening they could find, scaling walls trying to get out of the path of the spinning and turning saw that was racing across the floor. Luckily no one was hurt and the saw was unplugged. Miro never did see that saw again. Formal  Apology                 This is to certify that Michael J. Harrison does hereby apologize to Dwayne Allan Edwards for charging him an exorbitant price on a pneumatic chisel.  Even the proposal of a full refund of the $20 purchase price, plus $5, could in no way reimburse you for the sleepless nights and personal anguish I know you must be going through. The offer of keeping the chisel and shoving it wherever, didn’t help you feel any better, all of this because of my thoughtless and selfish actions. I also realize this apology won’t bring back the youth you lost, from the hernia, received while orally trying to run the chisel. In my greed and selfishness, I even neglected to throw in a 6 HP air compressor, to let you enjoy the tool as you expected. I have been trying to defend my actions in the past few months, but your quiet, though forceful, demeanor made me see the error of my ways. I do hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I am actively seeking therapy to atone for my sins, and hope to be a better, more honest person, in the future. Let the word go forth, from this time and place, that Dwayne Allen Edwards is an honest, God fearing man and although somewhat simple, he does not deserve to be swindled, especially by a member of his own team. I have posted this letter in public, so all will know, if Dwayne Allen Edwards is to be sold anything in the future, be sure he has the lowest price, and all the accessories. Sincerely, Michael J. Harrison                                                                       Witnessed by: Chuck Farley March 10, 2002. C.C. – Dale Carnegie Center For Aberrant Behavior